Bard Humbug

The evenings are getting darker earlier now and I was driving through one of the coastal villages when it struck me that all the houses were in darkness, in fact all over Cornwall there are sections of towns that are deserted. I think that it is ourageous! These holiday houses and second homes are left empty all through the winter and yet the owners are expected to pay Council Tax at the full rate. This is patently unfair! The cost to the Council is less as there is reduced call for services such as bin collections and less wear and tear on tarmac on the roads. Has anyone considered that the owners have the extra expense of having to fit security systems; that should be tax deductible as well. And another thing! These empty properties have a beneficial effect on the local economy as minders are employed to look after the cottages in the winter. My God, if you want jobs and for us to own these places you will have to cut us some slack!

I was chatting to the old boy who comes to tend my garden and he was telling me about the days gone by when his grandfather used to live in the cottage I now own.  The old boy had a tear in his eye as he told me about the times he used to visit his granpa and help mend pots and the such. I said that his granpa would not recognise the place now I've had the ground floor knocked through, double glazing put in and the front of the cottage pebble-dashed. Anyway, the chap went on talking for so long that I had to dock him an hour's pay! I have to admit that I will miss him when I have to sack him next year, I have found a young lad who will do the garden so I'd be daft to pay adult minimum wage when I can get someone on teenage rate.

The exciting news is that I am going to become a Bard! In my local pub there is this chap who says he is a Bard, he is definitely true Cornish because he sounds like Eddy Grundy and can speak that Cornish gibberish stuff! I said that I would like to buy a Bardship so that I can be more Cornish.  He said that I will  become a Bard and be accepted as Cornish when the Gorse is not in bloom, I'm not sure when that will be but it can't be too long!

I'll keep you informed of progress.

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